Since I can remember I have known that I am more than what I believe myself to be. I was once asked by spirit if I would choose to remain on earth. I was in a sort of trance, as a child when I heard this. This is why I knew, and know now, that there has always been choice. No matter what we encounter during our lifetime, we have choice on what to think and how to act. It may be difficult, yet not impossible to imagine another way of being.
I did remember this off and on through life. As I sunk further and further into experiencing life as an infinite, limitless being for the experience of it, I would forget and then remember what I truly am as spirit self. Events, words, would remind me of a deeper knowing. Symbols of greater meaning. Those were the times I felt awakened. I could see where I had been, in other words.
Off and on, throughout my lifetime I would awaken, fall back to sleep in a void of unconsciousness to awaken again. At first, I was not aware of this. Then I became aware of the indulation of consciousness to unconsciousness to consciousness again. Still, I would fall back into unconsciousness, a place I said to myself, that I did not want to visit again.
I would ask myself why. Why would I choose this way of being. There is a greater meaning. There is a greater way of being. As a child grows through stages of infancy, toddler to teen, we all go through growth emotionally. We are like young children. We are always exploring, experiencing, educating ourselves. This low density energy of earth pulls us back to it's womb. Earth's frequency is similar to the human body's frequency.
Steadfast I would endure. Realizing so much along the way. What I learn, I share. Children are taught they don't know anything. That we need to learn. We have to, we must. What information must we learn? What ever the previous generation thinks we should. That is what. They learned it from the previous generation, and so on.
As children, we believe on one level and don't believe on a deeper level, that adults know what they are talking about. It is that obvious. We inately know that these bigger, older humans say one thing and do another. That they seem confused. They are.
Most of what we teach the next generation has been from ego. From "this is the way it is." Don't embarrass me. What will the neighbors think. Don't you love me? Your mother. Your father. Our family. I feed you, clothe you, put a roof over your head. You owe me. I had to do it so you do, too. There are laws. The church. Money. Work.
We love you conditionally if you go along with what we believe in.
We produce a movie of a life we think we are supposed to make. We want to feel loved and be taken care of by the Parent Gods. We make one epic story after another. Leaving our truth behind to mingle with the Joneses. Every once in a while we act out and get injured enough to step back into line. Those who go against the masses are cast out, in so many ways. Some killed off. We get creative in the ways we bring our true nature out. Art, music, writing, walking in the woods, and so on.
Then we enter our teens. We get another chance to define ourselves. We hear, make us proud, what are you going to be when you grow up, who are you, how much money are you going to make, how much esteem do I need to show you. Teen brains function differently than adult brains. It is a scientific fact.
Will we go off and be who we were meant to be? Will we follow the truth in our heart? Will we do what we were conditioned to do? The pull back and forth on our emotions is great.
We begin our young adult journey still hearing the echoes in our heads put there from ancient days of childhood. How much money are you making? When are you going to have children? How many children are you going to have? When will you get married? What church will you be married in? Tell me what I want to hear so I can feel comfortable with what I have turned out to be. I had to do it, so you do too.
Like the man who was forced to wear a ham in the movie Roots, we have grown fond of our chains that bind us.
When do we decide to wake up? Would we allow ourselves to fully awaken? What would we give up if we decided to do this. Security. Love, if there is any to be found. *Like the man who as a punishment for running away, was forced to wear a ham in the movie Roots, we have grown fond of our chains that bind us. We want our chains to bind us, so we feel comfortable. We have grown used to blaming others for this. We find our scapegoats. We get used to the dull ache within that never leaves our side. When we begin to pull away, we are reminded by the old ghosts in the hidden closets of our mind of all the should's, would's, could's, gotta's, must's, have to's. We crash within ourselves once more. Back and forth, in and out of consciousness.
That is why it feels like a miracle when we awaken. We are limitless, as we choose our limitations. We are infinite, as we choose our finiteness. We choose. We always have an option. We choose with option it will be. We create. We think. We choose which thoughts to put in our heads and which ones we keep there.
As an infinite limitless being to incarnate into third density with the idea of being a master of limitation, this experience can bring about many wonder-filled challenges to reveal our truth as we engage in the game; Peek a Boo... I See Me.
Dedicated to my friend Debbie. Thank you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roots_(novel)
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